Past, Present, Possibility

A young skinny,straggly haired girl sits in a treetop reading. Nobody knows she's there,its better that way as among others she always feels alone anyway. She enjoys being alone. The peaceful escape into a book is brief respite in a world of bullying.

A few years on.....the sun rises spreading its warm glow across the grassy slope, lighting up the faces of all present as they gather around the barbecue. The smell of food and noise of inflating hot-air balloons accompanied by music eminating from the wind-up gramophone mix together and fill the senses. It was an early start,but worth it!

At 18,she looks out of the window to see the gloom of another rainy day. Her head banging from the overindulgence of the night before, she drags herself into the bathroom, gets washed,dressed and out of the house in 20 minutes. As she walks to the bus stop she hears the padding of doggy paws and turns to see her dog's following, a trail of blood coming from an underbelly gash causes panic and disbelief in equal measure.

The young woman opened the front door of her new house. She is excited but also a little afraid.  Embarking on this new chapter into proper adulthood is daunting in all its no holds barred freedom. As time moves on she spends more time in Essex than Stafford.  Drawn by the promise of love and security. A strong,self assured woman, travelling the length and bread of the UK. Enjoying the open road, the responsibility her job requires and the irresponsibility of the life of a young childless woman.

30. Her belly bump is still quite petite, but no mistaking the nearing of babys soon arrival! Its still quiet as her step-son isn't back yet. The sun streaming in accross the kitchen gives a sense of wellbeing.  Everything will be OK.....won't it?

As she struggles to breath and push him off she slides off the bed, grabs the phone and dials 99...and then he pulls the phone cord out of the socket. The moment is defused,the power struggle replaced by an adrenaline rush that propels her down the stairs into the kitchen where the phone is ringing. Its the police wanting to know if everything was ok. Its not the first time,and won't be the last.

2003, early spring. The rain is lashing down, the motorway awash as she continues South. The first viewing is in two hours. Moving away seems the best answer. The friend and confidante forced his way into her affections, then beyond, way beyond, a step too far....bruising her thighs and breaking her trust. To get away from the present and into the future seems to be to move so far away.... A new way of life,new friends,new opportunities.

2006, she sat crying holding her slightly rounded belly. They'd said incompatible with life,  time to think, terminate, lethal. Those arent words you expect when you're expecting. Crying out to God, WHY?

Seasoned, tired, experienced, mature, really? Do the ravages of life on earth ever stop?

I watch the sun setting from 'The Lighthouse' at Little Harbour. The warm glow promising a tomorrow that is inviting me to smile. A corresponding warm glow inside, and a heart full of hope, peace, acceptance.

What will tomorrow bring? Who knows? I survived and even thrived my yesterdays. Today brings troubles of its own, and peace, of sorts. But tomorrow....., well its a kindness that we don't know.

Each day a gift, some gifts are disguised and can take years to understand,  but we will understand. One day.